Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
