Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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