Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
