honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
