I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
