You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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