a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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