so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
