and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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