You made me cry and you don't even care
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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