i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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