my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
two words...techno handjob
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize