I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
