Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
