exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
