Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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