i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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