By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
