she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
