I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
