one might say we're banned from that church
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
How's work?
Spinning.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
