Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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