Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
