that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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