mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
