I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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