Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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