never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just want to make out with him forever
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
