Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Alive.
So much puke
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
