I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
