You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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