You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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