You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
