we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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