Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
