Barsexuality is the new black.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
