Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Farmville is her only friend.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
