I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
