so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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