I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
