Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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