wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
