Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
