i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
