at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
