Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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