I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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