"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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