i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize