dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just found puke in my bra..
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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