What did we do last night that was yellow?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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