why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
