Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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