My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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