I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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