How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
