Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
