perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
