I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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