Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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