I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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