so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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